Monday, September 20, 2021

Lovin' Lizzo

My past two years is about growth and learning. Learning who I am. Growing in my understanding of others, my family, my children, my community, and my love. I've spent a lot more time listening to music over the last two years and Lizzo has been a big part of my growth/learning soundtrack.

I've also become a big fan of the I Weigh podcast and share so many of them, but this one hit me today.

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Sunday, November 8, 2020

New Beginnings

Tomorrow I turn 49 and a friend of mine who is close to my age said she was starting her next chapter at 50. I am definitely in a transitional place. It is hopefully the start of new wonderful beginnings. Right now it is a mix of beautiful and excruciating.

I don't recommend anyone going through a tough divorce, especially during a pandemic. It is the worst and best thing for me right now. Luckily, I have some of the most supportive friends one could ever ask for and someone who has taught me more about love than I would have thought possible.

Tonight's theme song.

The recent election and the people in my life give me hope. Hugs to all of you struggling out there and going through so much with a pandemic on top of it all.

Wednesday, May 6, 2020

Kitchen 17 at Home and Dema's 16th Birthday - COVID 19 Life

My beloved Elsinore is my musical soundtrack right now. This song in particular is what I wake up to in my mind.

I read about Chicago's Kitchen 17 shipping their awesome pizzas and I knew I had to place an order for Dema's 16th birthday! I ordered a sample of each type of pizza because I couldn't decide. Delivery was easy to track and packed really well. I was very impressed. We didn't get the pizzas in time for Dema's actual birthday, but we been enjoyed them for a week or two after his birthday so we extended our celebration. We can't decide which is our favorite so I will order another sample pack again. I really appreciate restaurants figuring out new ways to serve people in these pandemic times. I try to support as many local businesses and vegan businesses as I can.

We all ate dinner at Rob's house to celebrate Dema's birthday after Rob got back from North Carolina. Rob made homemade vegan lasagna and our friends, Adam and Amanda, dropped off some homemade bread for me earlier that day so I brought it over to share.
I can't believe it has been 16 years since this beautiful day and this awesome person came into my life! I love him so much. I've been watching old performances and tearing up.

Here is a favorite from when Dema was 12.

Here is Dema's recital piece for his wonderful voice teacher, James Hevel,  a couple months ago.
I love every age, but it definitely goes by way too fast.

Friday, April 3, 2020

Acts of Kindness - Shelter in Place Day 13 - COVID 19 Life

Josie and I were chatting with a friend on the phone this morning and she was lamenting how we didn't have any coffee. Later the friend texted me saying there was a thermos of coffee by our gate and a video of how he disinfected the container and put it in the bag before he brought it over. It was such a sweet gesture and much appreciated by Josie and me. Love the acts of kindness from friends and neighbors during this difficult time. We are going to pay it forward and send cards to the hospital workers who clean the rooms, etc. I always appreciate their work, especially when I'm in the hospital with my dad (so many doctor and hospital visits this past year!), but now they are complete heroes!

 I'm trying not to buy things from Amazon, but also trying not to shop in person right now so I was very happy to find I could order oat milk directly from Elmhurst.I know it is easy to make my own, but I am also completely out of oats. I haven't tried it yet, but now I don't have to ration our plant milk so much over the next few weeks. We have a stay at home order until April 30th.

Thursday, April 2, 2020

All In -Shelter in Place Day 12 - Covid 19 Life

Our governor gave a cover 19 update today and mentioned that we need to be "all in". That resonated with me. I hope that we can come together as a community and work to halt the spread of this virus. That means staying home and physically distancing ourselves from others so that people who can't stay home can be safe. I wish all the states were taking it as seriously.

My dad had to go to the ER today. He has advanced dementia and things have gotten extremely bad over the last year, but especially the last two weeks. He has a catheter and recently he has started opening the valve on purpose and messing with things. They found out in the ER that it was pinched and they had to remove it and insert another one, but no one could be with him because of the Covid 19 precautions. It is very hard for my dad to communicate anymore and he certainly doesn't understand what is going on. It must have been frustrating and scary. I found these old pictures of him in some things I was going through today.

Life goes by so incredibly fast. I found out this week that his eldest brother also died from Alzheimer's which I'm guessing drastically ups our chances of getting it. Trying to take that in without completely getting depressed about it. I'm hoping some dietary choices can make a difference. It is a horrible disease and so hard to watch.

Lunch today:
Brown rice, chickpeas, broccoli, cauliflower, carrots, onions,  turmeric, black pepper,  kimchi sauerkraut 
Baked tofu with Vegenaise, spinach, turmeric and black pepper, and Sea Stag Turmeric and Seaweed Sauerkraut on sourdough bread.  Romain lettuce with walnuts, pumpkin seeds, cherry tomatoes, homemade tahini dressing and ground pepper. Organic blueberries and organic Thoory dates.
Josie made chili for dinner so I did have a small bowl just because she was so proud of just making it without a recipe with ingredients we had around. It was quite good with black beans, pinto beans, salsa, corn, nutritional yeast, jalapeƱos, and lots of spices. I didn't get a picture because I try not to take my phone in the kitchen anymore. Germs.


This is an old post I never finished months ago, but I noticed it today as I am showering, washing my hands, washing clothes more than ever before because of the damn COVID 19. So tough to live in this new world sustainably.

I know guilt is not a productive feeling, but I can't help but indulge in it several times a day. It usually hits me when I am doing dishes (we don't have a dishwasher so this is a frequent activity), showering (especially in the shower), or even drinking a glass of water. 

It goes like this...
I lather up the dishes or myself or take a cold sip of tap water and it hits me.
I think of all the people in the world right now who don't have clean water.
I think about our future when my kids may not have the luxury of a hot shower.
I think about how people clean dishes when they don't have access to clean water or any water. 
I think about how wasteful our society is and how precious water is.
I silently apologize to the rest of the world and my kids' generation for the irresponsible behavior of my generation and generations before mine.
I picture the kids in Yemen, the homeless guy in front of my husband's downtown office, the people affected by the F3 tornado that ravaged a town (in December!) just a short drive away from where I live.
It hits me multiple times a day.
Like a brick wall of guilt.
But, guilt is paralyzing not energizing.
So I must turn this into something positive.

Appreciate what I have?
Sure, I do.
Most days.
That doesn't help anyone though does it?

Wednesday, April 1, 2020

Lunch - Shelter in Place Day 11 - Covid 19 Life

Song in my head this morning: Porgy and Bess I Got Plenty o' Nuttin'

I grew up listening over and over to Porgy and Bess record on our family's record player. I wish I knew what happened to it because Parker has a record player and I would love to hear it in vinyl again. It is so beautiful.

I've been skipping breakfast and eating very little for dinner so my main meal is lunch. This is all from stuff we had around since before the shelter in place order, except the sourdough bread. We are all avoiding going out for anything non-essential, but I did a quick physically distant food co-op shopping trip yesterday to buy bread and tofu, etc. We had a little leftover Cashew Carrot Ginger Soup, romaine lettuce and baby tomatoes from our neighbors, pumpkin seeds and walnuts from when we could buy in bulk, and some jarred jalapenos for the salad. The sandwich is baked tofu from the last of our tofu (before I when shopping), spinach, Vegenaise with added turmeric and black pepper, Spicy Sauerkraut on sourdough. I really miss the fresh bread from our local bakery, Pekara.

How are you eating these days? I'm trying to stay as healthy as possible, drinking a lot of tea, and going for a long walk every day.