Friday, June 6, 2008

When it Rains it Pours or We Don't Eat Blood

It was one of those mornings yesterday where you know you are running late for something and should just stay home, but you don't and then you realize there was a reason you had that nagging feeling to just blow something off you normally enjoy.

We met up with the homeschooling art class at the Japan House today, but we pretty late. The guys did some drawings and water color and then we all went out to the open space to run around and eat some lunch. The boys were all excited to eat the tamales we brought, but the kids were playing around some before we all got our lunches out.

Too many boys on big rocks. Not long after the playing started, Parker scraped his knees on the rocks and came over in the shade for some sympathy and while I was checking him out I hear one of the other boys say "Dema is bleeding on his head!" Parker and I both look up to Dema crying and coming toward us with blood all the way down to his chin from his head. I put Josie down on the ground next to Parker and tried to access what was going on, but there seemed to be so much talking from the kids and the other moms that I just couldn't get a handle on how badly Dema was actually hurt. Of course, yesterday's incident with the car was fresh in my mind and I was sort of in a daze.

Stop the bleeding. I saw that the cut was very deep from the first glance at Dema, I was pretty sure the white I saw was bone or close to it. He wasn't bleeding buckets, but I wanted to stop the bleeding so I grabbed the cloth napkins for lunch from my bag and held his head. I was pretty sure we were talking a hospital visit, but I didn't want to drive there alone. I wanted to be able to hold him and keep the cloth on his forehead. I kept wondering about the blood in his eye and it was hard to tell if he was just bleeding from his head or his nose too. Dema mumbles something to me, "We don't eat blood." What?? "We are vegan, we don't eat blood. Get the blood out of my mouth." Oh good lord! He is worried about the blood in his mouth!

Let me explain this for a second. Parker from a very young age was fine and understood why we are vegan and why we don't eat animals. He saw his grandmother (my mom) die (he saw her die over a month time and then saw her dead body at the hospital as we dealt with things) when he was two and he's always been peaceful about death and understanding. Parker is much more at peace with death than I will ever be. Dema is fascinated by blood and death in a way that I will never understand. We joke that he may be a doctor some day because he always wants to understand more. He equates blood with death no matter how many times we explain things. Soooo...when we talk about how we don't believe in killing animals and eating them he equates that with eating their blood. Hard to explain, back to the story...

We wipe out his mouth and at some point, it is all a little hazy now, I call Rob, but I'm holding Dema so I give the phone to Parker. As you learned yesterday, Parker is not so great about relaying news in such a way as to not bring panic and fear (It is okay, he's not dead leaves a lot of stuff between okay and dead for a parent to imagine). Parker was doing a fine job, but Rob really wanted to hear from an adult what the situation with Dema was before he hopped on his bike to find us. Luckily, Lori took the phone and gave her assessment and explained where we were. Rob was on his way, on his bike, but it seemed like forever waiting for him and about this time I was pretty sure I was going to throw up. I asked Lori to hold the cloth on Dema's head while I got the other two kids in the car so we could go, but I really just needed to take a second so I didn't puke. The kids were in the car and I was in the passenger seat holding Dema when Rob arrived.

Rob took a look at Dema's head (bleeding had stopped) and agreed we should go the hospital (big thing for Mr. We Can Steristrip It Ourselves At Home Guy). I held Dema and Rob drove to the ER. We were hoping our neighbor, Greg (an ER doc), was working, but no such luck. Dema was fine with the doctor we FINALLY ended up seeing. The waiting was expected, but annoying just the same. I have going to the ER because it means hours of waiting and I feel like I'm dying a little bit in that waiting room watching those damn TVs with those silly daytime dramas...save me! I had some if our picnic in my diaper back and no one had eaten lunch so Dema devoured the blueberries, Josie ate some figs, kumquats, and grape tomatoes. We had some looks, but I don't care.

In the examining room (it was a room they said they don't normally use so they must have been busy), waiting for the doctor we explained to Dema what was going to happen. Parker was really the one putting him at ease, showing him the scar from his heart surgery and explaining how it would all be fine. The doctor came in and after being bombarded with Parker's account (he didn't actually see anything since he was with me and I didn't see anything since I was taking care of Parker when Dema fell), Dema's account (he didn't remember much except the darn ant hill), and Josie crying...decided that he only wanted one parent in the room and no siblings...surprise! Dema really wanted Parker to stay, but knew it would take a while and Parker was hungry and I could get Josie to sleep if I took her outside to nurse so Rob stayed with Dema.

I HATE waiting while my child is being seen. I was going nuts. We went out to the car, Parker ate the tamales we had for lunch (leaving as many as he could for Dema). Parker was so incredibly sweet and supportive to Dema and they kept hugging each other all day. I put Josie in the Ergo and she went to sleep as we did laps around the outside of the hospital. I didn't want to get too far away in case I was needed and I couldn't find my cell phone, but I couldn't take the waiting room.

When we finally saw Dema again, he had a dozen stitches in his head and Rob says he did fine, even without Dr. Greg. He didn't get scared or upset once and was as still as he could be. By this point, though, he was bouncing off the walls and wanted to go home. Rob had asked the nurse (nice guy from NC) to come find me because there was a surgeon who looked at Dema's eye and said he wanted to do the procedure without a parent in the room. Now we understood wanting only one parent during the stitching and we didn't bat an eye about that, but we were not going to leave our kid alone. Rob stated this and asked to talk to the surgeon's boss and while he was gone had me come in. When the surgeon and his boss came back in they took a look and released us...no talk AT ALL about something more needing to be done. It was odd. We took it though and left.

We dropped Rob back at the Japan House to pick up his bike (at this point, going back to work didn't make much sense, but he could pick up his computer and tie up loose ends). Dema was asleep by the time we arrived home. Poor little guy. I took him upstairs and watched him sleep for a very long time. I love that tough, sweet little person and I want him to take it easy for a while, but I know he won't. He is a jump right back on type of person and I can't keep him in a bubble. He plays on rocks all the time and this is the first time he's really been hurt. Maybe we need these experiences (so sad that we do) to realize how precious life is. We know it is precious and fleeting, but maybe life would be way too intense if we felt it all the time. One of the hardest things for me when I find out I'm having a child or think about having another is knowing they will get hurt and eventually die. Of course, that doesn't stop me from having them and loving them and unfortunately sometimes taking them for granted. I am so lucky to have this time with them and I wouldn't be who I am without them. I just wish I could keep them safe, but they also need to be able to live life and have this oh so short time where they think they are invincible...what a balance.

Off to hug my kids again.

7 comments:

Cravin' Veggies said...

UGH! I am so sorry you had to have such a rough weekend!! And I completely understand the bubble thing. I would like to keep my kids in a bubble too. Now that they're teen/pre-teen I really, really wish I could keep them close by (forever). It is very hard for me to let them go/grow. I know that I have to (obviously) but it is still difficult. "It hurts my heart" is the best way to explain it, I guess.

fredbunch said...

I'm so glad that Dema is okay. I'm also glad Parker was there for Dema. Hopefully the rest of your June will be less eventful:).

See y'all in July!

Camille

VeganLinda said...

CV, What a perfect way to describe it! I can't imagine how the pre-teen/teen years will be.

Camille, We can't wait to see you all!

Loretta said...

Oh my goodness, Linda! Between this post and your previous one, it sounds like you, Dema, and the whole family had a fairly traumatic few days. It sounds like Dema was a trooper for his stitches, and I hope he heals quickly.

I was about Dema's age when I had to get 8 stitches on a facial wound just beneath my left eye, and while I don't remember getting the stitches, I do remember why I got them, and my brother and I never used curtain rods to sword fight again...

The Fearless Freak said...

Poor Dema! What a trooper too. I busted my eyelid open when I was 19 and I flat refused stitches because there was NO WAY they were getting that close to my eye with a needle.

VeganLinda said...

Loretta, You made me laugh...yes, that certainly sounds like a bad idea!

TFF, I'm glad they didn't do anything to his eye. I wouldn't want stitches there.

Lavender Lemonade said...

Brave Dema. And it is so awesome that Parker was so supportive. What a special relationship they have. You were very brave too, VeganLinda. This is the kind of Mom-thing that all of us dread, yet know it will happen. Its the kind of thing that requires us to make clear, wise decisions at a time when we are operating on unknown/untested reserves because it feels like our heart is in our throat and just 5 minutes ago everything was fine, our precious child was fine.