Just Watch It

Last night I went upstairs with the little ones (Dema and Josie) to put them to bed while the big ones (Rob and Parker) stayed downstairs to create amazing Lego lands and clean up after dinner. Dinner in the summer is started around dusk since we all have to be outdoors to use the precious sunlight as long as possible. So dinner was quick and easy (as easy as dinner can be with three children) tempeh ruebens, Potato Squashers, and local pesticide-free cherries.

I always have big plans for after the kids go to bed, but more often than not, I fall asleep with them. Last night was one of those lovely nights where I fell asleep nursing Josie and talking about life with Dema. Some time later I was woken up by Rob and Parker coming upstairs at some insanely late hour. I heard them get ready for bed and put a movie into the portable DVD player. I got up a few minutes later to turn off the bathroom light and I checked on them...asleep already (so incredibly sweet with the same exact half smile on their faces and in the same exact position) with the movie still going. I picked up the DVD player and was about to put it away when I noticed it was a French film. I thought, I might as well start to watch it or I will think of the 10,000 things I need to do right now and not get back to sleep.

Well, friends I didn't get back to sleep...not for a long, long, long time. I watched the best movie I think I've seen in...well, possibly ever. I didn't know anything about the movie going in. Rob rented it a couple days ago and I had no expectations. Now that I am not half-asleep, I think I remember hearing about the movie perhaps on NPR or something, but last night it was completely fresh. After I watched (read, really, since it is in French) the movie, I went through all the "special features", watched parts with the commentary on, and finally put it away when I realized it was over and there was nothing more to watch. I stayed up watching Dema and Josie sleep and I thought and thought and thought. I thought about my life and things I wish I had done differently, things I am grateful for, things which get in the way of living, things which bother me and don't mean a thing, dying, my mother's death, my grandmother's death, my grandfather's death, fear of dying, fear of living, my children, life. I thought for a very long time and I am suffering from lack of sleep so I don't know if I'm making much sense, but it was worth it. The movie is based on a book which I will have to read now and I'm sure it is amazing itself, but the movie was pure genius (and I don't say that often) the way it was filmed...just perfect. When I review movies I try not to read anything the critics or others have said about the film so it doesn't taint my view. This is especially true of this film. I have no idea how it was received or if it is true to the book, it doesn't matter to me. It is what it is, in its own right.

The Diving Bell and the Butterfly...watch it.