I am the youngest of three and my closest sibling is seven and half years older than me (same age difference between my oldest and youngest so it is on my mind a lot). Growing up I was always behind in the family. I excelled at things for sure, but I would still be a step (or more) behind my sister and brother. This was especially true for sports type things because I was just a lot littler, I wasn't at peace with it as I believe I am now so I had a hard time with it. My siblings would try to be supportive and give me encouragement, but it always back-fired. For as long as I can remember, as soon as someone gives me a compliment ("Nice throw!") I freeze up and get worse ("Now the ball is stuck on the roof and we can't play anymore, nice job."). I've noticed this a little in my adult life, but usually only when Rob is doing the complimenting. I'm not in the mood for psychoanalyzing that one for the moment. It is what is it is.
The Point, Linda, The Point! Yes, yes, well, I had quite a few people tell me over emails or to my face that they really enjoyed my blog and would sometimes laugh out loud (if you are new to the blog you might have to go back to older posts). It was the nail in my funny coffin. After enough people said this, I no longer felt funny...not in the least. I had absolutely nothing funny to say.
I have writers block, I'm in a slump and it is bad. I feel like I'm both the author and the Will Ferrell character in Stranger Than Fiction.
It doesn't help that I'm obsessively disturbed by the state of the environment and I have put off some extremely important business stuff which is not in the least helpful to my mood or my business. Also, even without a TV I am addicted to Lost (thanks a lot Raj!) and I watch it online usually two episodes at a time every couple weeks since I don't watch it until everyone is in bed and the last two episodes were exceptionally depressing to me. Top it off with the fact that I think I may be suffering from sticky key syndrome (my keyboard has had stuff spilled on it from time to time) so I look like a complete idiot since things are misspelled all the time and I swear it isn't me, but the keyboard. Then I might also be suffering from babybrain because I will think words and type completely unrelated words so the amazing prose which you could be reading is actually stuck somewhere between my brain and my fingertips.
Really, I can also blame it on the weather and the need for Spring and so many other things, but in the end it just adds up to something which is not funny.